The REAL Pizzagate
This really happened!
I saw my neighbor in his front yard and noticed he was working on something. I decided to be a little nosy and go see what he was doing. I walked over and said, “Hello.” We exchanged pleasantries and small talk. Then I noticed he had placed tomato plants, different herbs, bell peppers, large pepperoni sticks, what looked like dough, and string cheese around his yard.
Curiosity finally got the better of me. “Steve, what are you doing?”
He said, “I’m going to plant a hedge row of tomatoes. The herbs will go underneath. Then I am going to stake the pepperoni sticks into the ground and tie the dough to them with string cheese. That should help keep them up when the wind blows. It’ll also keep people from coming onto my property. Then I’m going to take those bell peppers and use them like hinges so we can get out. It’ll be a mighty fine pizzagate and pizzafence.”
I was trying to understand what he was saying; after all, there’s no such thing as a pizzagate.
“I wanted a pizzawall, but my wife said it would be too expensive and couldn’t cover the entire border of our yard.”
By J.K. Fakenews
I saw my neighbor in his front yard and noticed he was working on something. I decided to be a little nosy and go see what he was doing. I walked over and said, “Hello.” We exchanged pleasantries and small talk. Then I noticed he had placed tomato plants, different herbs, bell peppers, large pepperoni sticks, what looked like dough, and string cheese around his yard.
Curiosity finally got the better of me. “Steve, what are you doing?”
He said, “I’m going to plant a hedge row of tomatoes. The herbs will go underneath. Then I am going to stake the pepperoni sticks into the ground and tie the dough to them with string cheese. That should help keep them up when the wind blows. It’ll also keep people from coming onto my property. Then I’m going to take those bell peppers and use them like hinges so we can get out. It’ll be a mighty fine pizzagate and pizzafence.”
I was trying to understand what he was saying; after all, there’s no such thing as a pizzagate.
“I wanted a pizzawall, but my wife said it would be too expensive and couldn’t cover the entire border of our yard.”
By J.K. Fakenews