Disney Prince Syndrome: The depiction of men and love in Disney Fairy Tales
Being wanted is nice, but men have a need to be needed. Men need to feel like they are indispensable to the women and families that they love. Marginalize the man in his home life, and no matter how wanted he is, he will become dissatisfied. Men fear not being needed above everything else.
While Disney fairy tales have been blamed as part of the media conspiracy to make women in American Society passive, they have also done something else to men that is now being classified as part of rape culture. It isn’t that Disney is fully to blame for the depiction, it is just that Disney is the most easily identifiable cultural institution for the sake of this post.
Sticking to the G-rated stories of Disney, the women occupy 90 percent of the screen time while the men are an object of desire. In Little Mermaid, Ariel pined for Prince Eric long before he knew she even existed. Eric may have more screen time than any prince before him, but his actions are limited to being eye candy and having a crab tell him to kiss the girl.
In Sleeping Beauty, Aurora, who was sheltered by three fairies and had not seen a man since just after birth, danced with animals as if they were a prince, the prince she pined for was faceless until Prince Phillip showed up. Phillip isn’t seen again really until he is needed to slay the dragon and kiss Aurora to wake her up. Snow White sang about her prince coming, he showed up and isn’t seen again until he is needed to kiss Snow White to wake her from sleeping death.
The stories’ central characters are princesses that feminists do not want their daughters or other women imitating. The Princess and the Frog has Tiana, who isn’t technically a princess until the end of the film, and the Prince is a royal jerk that she changes. (He also has quite a bit of screen time.) In Cinderella, the prince isn’t even there to put the shoe on her foot. He is just there to dance with.
The point is that these princes created men who grew up believing that there would come a time in their lives when they would be needed by the women that they loved. That need would be some great undertaking, like slaying a hundred-foot tall Ursula with a wrecked sailing ship, and that action was required to win the hand of the woman. More importantly, the men knew that the story would never be their own. They would be the ancillary but indispensable help that the women needed.
Read the Need to be Needed: One example of white knighting?
While Disney fairy tales have been blamed as part of the media conspiracy to make women in American Society passive, they have also done something else to men that is now being classified as part of rape culture. It isn’t that Disney is fully to blame for the depiction, it is just that Disney is the most easily identifiable cultural institution for the sake of this post.
Sticking to the G-rated stories of Disney, the women occupy 90 percent of the screen time while the men are an object of desire. In Little Mermaid, Ariel pined for Prince Eric long before he knew she even existed. Eric may have more screen time than any prince before him, but his actions are limited to being eye candy and having a crab tell him to kiss the girl.
In Sleeping Beauty, Aurora, who was sheltered by three fairies and had not seen a man since just after birth, danced with animals as if they were a prince, the prince she pined for was faceless until Prince Phillip showed up. Phillip isn’t seen again really until he is needed to slay the dragon and kiss Aurora to wake her up. Snow White sang about her prince coming, he showed up and isn’t seen again until he is needed to kiss Snow White to wake her from sleeping death.
The stories’ central characters are princesses that feminists do not want their daughters or other women imitating. The Princess and the Frog has Tiana, who isn’t technically a princess until the end of the film, and the Prince is a royal jerk that she changes. (He also has quite a bit of screen time.) In Cinderella, the prince isn’t even there to put the shoe on her foot. He is just there to dance with.
The point is that these princes created men who grew up believing that there would come a time in their lives when they would be needed by the women that they loved. That need would be some great undertaking, like slaying a hundred-foot tall Ursula with a wrecked sailing ship, and that action was required to win the hand of the woman. More importantly, the men knew that the story would never be their own. They would be the ancillary but indispensable help that the women needed.
Read the Need to be Needed: One example of white knighting?
Comments:
Jessica says: I don't think you got to how Disney (as a proxy for mainstream entertainment) is contributing to rape culture, in this piece. The discussion you're having here is about how masculinity is viewed (Jesse Fruhwirth, BTW, has a great piece in the current issue of Bitch Magazine about this very thing, and interviews the director of the documentary Tough Guise).
Rape culture is anything that promotes the idea that women do not have agency over their own bodies & lives, that they are not worth respect, that they are less than. To use one of your own examples, Sleeping Beauty is kissed by the Prince while she is asleep. She gave no consent, could not have given consent, and yet, we as a society are told this is romantic because she "needed" to be kissed in order to wake up.
Belle is forced to live with the Beast against her will, a stranger, someone who abuses her & everyone around him; yet, his behavior is justified & Belle becomes the sacrifice/savior who "saves" the horrible man from himself--because all horrible men need is a "good woman." Never mind what women need.
Cinderella's story promotes a culture of "love" & desire based solely on physical appearances. Ariel is physically incapable of communicating her consent, and the lesson is that a man will "just know" when a woman "wants it," regardless of what has been communicated.
The ideas being promoted are those that say it's ok to kiss, touch (or fuck) someone without their permission, that women are just waiting for "the right man," that they have no desires of their own, that they are objects (granted limited, conditional respect). The stories justify these behaviors, prompt girls to behave in complacent ways, in the name of "love," but without any thought to their own wants, needs or desires, and give boys a harmful framework.
Rape culture is anything that promotes the idea that women do not have agency over their own bodies & lives, that they are not worth respect, that they are less than. To use one of your own examples, Sleeping Beauty is kissed by the Prince while she is asleep. She gave no consent, could not have given consent, and yet, we as a society are told this is romantic because she "needed" to be kissed in order to wake up.
Belle is forced to live with the Beast against her will, a stranger, someone who abuses her & everyone around him; yet, his behavior is justified & Belle becomes the sacrifice/savior who "saves" the horrible man from himself--because all horrible men need is a "good woman." Never mind what women need.
Cinderella's story promotes a culture of "love" & desire based solely on physical appearances. Ariel is physically incapable of communicating her consent, and the lesson is that a man will "just know" when a woman "wants it," regardless of what has been communicated.
The ideas being promoted are those that say it's ok to kiss, touch (or fuck) someone without their permission, that women are just waiting for "the right man," that they have no desires of their own, that they are objects (granted limited, conditional respect). The stories justify these behaviors, prompt girls to behave in complacent ways, in the name of "love," but without any thought to their own wants, needs or desires, and give boys a harmful framework.
April says: I think that part of the problem is that everyone is discussing parts of the problem as though it is the whole problem and no one seems to really be agreeing on what the definition of "rape culture" really is. In this piece, Shad is not attempting to address all of rape culture, but a piece of it, which is the proverbial man's definition of his own masculinity.
Shad says: How masculinity is viewed is an essential contributor to
rape culture. If it is masculine to kiss a girl while she is sleeping, if it is
masculine to know when a girl “wants it,” if it is masculine to kiss, touch, or
fuck someone without their permission, then men will do these things. If we
want to change this culture, then we have to change how masculinity is viewed. The
idea that women do not have control over their own bodies is being promoted to
both men and women.
The Disney princesses do have desires of their own. Whether
or not they are good desires or the solutions they find to fulfill those
desires are good is another question. Aurora desires to find a husband or at
least not be alone. Belle is rescuing her father when she enters the Beast’s
castle. Cinderella desires a better life than the one she lives under her
stepmother and wants to go to the ball. Ariel desires Eric and completely
changes her way of life to get him.
What we are left with are depictions of men, women and relationships that are, appropriately enough, two dimensional, which is great for story telling but not necessarily good as a basis for life.
I am still working through this relatively new concept (for me), and I know I am missing a couple of pieces, but rape culture appears to be a multi-level, integrated problem that is going to require more than a hashtag discussion to change. Men and women are going to have to figure out what relationships should look like, how they are initiated and, at its simplest level, that "no" actually does mean "no" not "try harder."
What we are left with are depictions of men, women and relationships that are, appropriately enough, two dimensional, which is great for story telling but not necessarily good as a basis for life.
I am still working through this relatively new concept (for me), and I know I am missing a couple of pieces, but rape culture appears to be a multi-level, integrated problem that is going to require more than a hashtag discussion to change. Men and women are going to have to figure out what relationships should look like, how they are initiated and, at its simplest level, that "no" actually does mean "no" not "try harder."
Jessica says: You were having a discussion on how men have a need to be needed, which is an interesting conversation, but didn't bring that discussion back to WHY and HOW that need might contribute to rape culture. So that's the question. How does the Prince Charming savior figure contribute to a culture where women are exploited, devalued, dehumanized, eroticized, abused, and oppressed?
Shad says: I might be having three conversations in my head, and it will take more than one or two pages to discuss them all - that doesn't mean I am not going to try. A face-to-face discussion would make this so much easier because right now I am just shooting in the dark really.
Plus, those are a lot of really charged words that I have to dissect and find examples for. My first thought is that we have to have something to replace the old way. I've seen complaints. I've seen name-calling. I've seen whining and blaming, but I haven't really seen any solutions on how to change it or what to change it to.
Some of the rape culture issues really feels like the idea of women in magazines. When women point to how the women in magazines do not represent all women, they usually talk about Cosmo or one of those fashion magazines that are targeted toward women (some point to Sports Illustrated and Playboy). Until women stop buying those magazines and thus into the mainstream depiction of women, they (it) will continue to exist.
Plus, those are a lot of really charged words that I have to dissect and find examples for. My first thought is that we have to have something to replace the old way. I've seen complaints. I've seen name-calling. I've seen whining and blaming, but I haven't really seen any solutions on how to change it or what to change it to.
Some of the rape culture issues really feels like the idea of women in magazines. When women point to how the women in magazines do not represent all women, they usually talk about Cosmo or one of those fashion magazines that are targeted toward women (some point to Sports Illustrated and Playboy). Until women stop buying those magazines and thus into the mainstream depiction of women, they (it) will continue to exist.