For better or worse, the international dorm had been taken over by a bunch of lacrosse players. They were the epitome of sports stereotypes with their swearing, the way they treated women and their domination of public areas including the hallway that everyone had to use to get to their rooms.
As part of our coping with those around us and with living together, we decided to declare our room the sovereign state of Moetari. Using a combination of the Latin word “mutari” (because he was taking Latin) and changing the “u” to an “oe” (because I was taking German), we came up with a country name that meant “to change.”
The first problem with any country is how to decide who is in charge. In Moetari, we had a generalissimo, but we never knew exactly who the generalissimo was until it was explicitly stated. Either one of us could hold the position for as long as was needed or as little as was needed. Sometimes, I would rule for five minutes, sometimes a week and a half. Sometimes, it would be him.
The way that the rule would change would be when someone had a need for it to do so. If I was playing my music too loud and ignored requests to turn it down, my friend could just say that he was generalissimo and hand down the rule that the music needed to be turned down. The “generalissimo” title was an easy way to express our needs in a way that was nonthreatening.
Since the position could change without notice (one person could say that he was generalissimo, and then the other could claim the title immediately afterwards), there was never any chance for the abuse of power. We could consider each request on its own merits with humor and make a choice that both people were happy with. We could also express the relative importance of the request or proposition with a simple declaration.
What made this work for us was that we were both invested in the other person’s happiness. We didn’t want to take advantage of the other person; we just wanted to live peacefully together while helping each other move toward self-actualization.
While I cannot say what Moetari did for my roommate, I can say that for me, it allowed me to gain a sense of how important change is and that I should embrace it. It taught me that I can trust other people to have my best interest at heart; something that maybe I forget every now and then, but that is still true today. It taught me that my happiness isn’t always paramount but that it should be taken into account. While Moetari may only exist in our imagination and memory, it was an important part of building the empire of my soul.